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11 March 2009 @ 10:54 am
There should be a manual for everyhing... including myself  
Okay, not one of you wanted to be taken off my Filter of Doom. Either you're all nuts or you just skipped my entry. I tend to the former which makes me love you all even more!


But this entry won't be Filter of Doom related. \o/ Go me!

Over the last few weeks I found some new friends, who I hadn't even the time or the manners to say hello to. Bad me!

So here it goes: Hello *winks like a maniac*. This is me: and this is my towel (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy changed my life!)

Hello... again. My name is Anja, I'm 28...(Edit: Damn! 29) years old. I'm a Scorpion or Sagittarius, depending on the magazine.

I'm an Eastern German, born and raised and the oldest child of three siblings, my sister Steffi and my 19 year old brother Toni, who's still living with my parents. He's a real emo and I love him so much even though he sometimes drives me up the wall. But if there's need to you can count on him.

My parents are weird. *lol* Not in a bad way. They're just different. You know Dr. House? Well that's my father only ten times worse, hehe. He's a teacher at the university in Potsdam and gotta admint I feel deeply, deeeeply sorry for his students. On the other hand, he's fair in a ...funky way of speaking.

My mom's a kindergarten teacher and therefore, she never really grew up herself. When we're on a shopping spree, quite often people believe her to be my older sister though now that I think about it, this could really mean I'm looking older than I really am :-O.... naaaaah.

After I finished school I started a 3year training as air traffic management assistant. Sounds much more boring than it actually was. It means, I worked in every department at the airport, including passenger and airplane handling. It was sooooo cool, except for the whole working in shifts thing.

After that I had the *cough*luck*cough* the become a regular employee... which bored me to death after four years. I was 27 when I decided: No, I will not open letters and write Mails and make coffee for the rest of my life and I decided to study business administration and informatics.

So now I'm here, studying hard and loving it. I never regretted my decision. Computers are cool. They are predictable and don't get all bitchy on me.

Lovelife? Oh yes, I knew there was something missing *lol*. I have a bf who I met at work (where else) six years agos and now we're living together for almost three and a half year already. Which brings us to the more exotic regions of my everyday me.

I suck at emotions. Hate them, don't want them, don't show them. New people I meet tend to think I'm evil and sarcastic and unfriendly. People who know me think I'm loyal, withdrawn, strong and helpful. I concur, especially the last one. *headdesk* It just happens to be an unavoidable fact, that I can't say no. To anyone. Ever!

I say yes again and again and then, every few months, I explode because everything is becoming too much. My days are filled with stuff I do for other people, including my coaching students english. Don't get me wrong, I love to do things for other people and I feel good doing it. But I really should listen when my friends tell me to stop and take a break and some time for myself. Duuh, I think I'm the worst girlfriend in the world because my bf always gets the short end of the stick. He's lovely and adorable and of course, sometimes he's absolutely awful as boyfriends usually are :-D. He's always the one who wants to talk things over whereas I want to stick my fingers into my ears with every intention of waiting until the problems solves itself or takes a swan dive out of the window because it can't stand my hardheadedness. Which of course it doesn't. I'm with stupid and I need the t-shirt.

Friends? Friends are cool. Mine are the best even though I only see them every few months :-( We went to school together and as life goes, they started their own somewhere else or in other words, far far away. But they come back every few months and then we meet. Unfortunately I don't think they don't know a lot about my feelings or anything that's going on in myself... because I don't talk about it. Never! That's why I have my lj where my thoughts are being dumped and reread when I feel like it. I'm bad with talking, did I mention that already?

My way of dealing with things is denial. Yep, I think this sums it up pretty good. Writing is nice therapy too but I just can't write when I'm really down.

So, yeah. I'm feeling a little better today even though my world is falling apart right now. But denial is a cosy pillow when you're tired :-)

Tags: , ,
Current Mood: listlesslistless
Ah yes, quite a bunch of us, isn't it?unhobbityhobbit on March 11th, 2009 10:58 am (UTC)
Wow, that's a huge age gap between you and your brother!

Denial is also my dealing method of choice *high five*. Who knew that it really is just a river in Egypt?
annj_g80: Harry Potter blubberannj_g80 on March 11th, 2009 11:04 am (UTC)
The gap doesn't feel that big because I don't feel like 28 either *lol*. I might in a few years though and then my bro will be 28 too. So, TWINS, yeahaaa!

Denial is awesome! *re-high five* I want that t-shirt, too.
Ah yes, quite a bunch of us, isn't it?unhobbityhobbit on March 11th, 2009 11:32 am (UTC)
Hehe, yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm catching up to my sister as the years go by. One day you might even be overtaken.

That would make a cool T-shirt. Now I want it as well.
annj_g80: sebastian bounceannj_g80 on March 11th, 2009 11:06 am (UTC)
Oh and by the way, my bro is 19 *blushes* Missing a 1 here *lol*
Ah yes, quite a bunch of us, isn't it?unhobbityhobbit on March 11th, 2009 11:33 am (UTC)
Ah, not such a large gap, but still quite big! I thought that counting on a 9-year-old was a little odd...
annj_g80: spn flashbackannj_g80 on March 11th, 2009 12:04 pm (UTC)
When he was 9 you could count on his love for Lego, at least *lol*
(Deleted comment)
annj_g80: River Danceannj_g80 on March 11th, 2009 12:05 pm (UTC)
Helped? In running faster? :-D

Just kidding. Glad I could give you a little insight in my life.
mlebayremlebayre on March 11th, 2009 01:04 pm (UTC)
Just so you know, I fall into the nuts category!

What a cool thing you wrote up, I loved it, especially the part about computers not getting bitchy on you. I think that's why I like them too.

Oh, and they don't bite.
annj_g80: Snoopyannj_g80 on March 11th, 2009 02:00 pm (UTC)
No, they don't. And if you know what you're doing you can even program them just the way you want them to work. FTW!

Oh, and you don't have to tell me you're one of the nut people. I knew that. That's why I love you to pieces *lol*
mlebayremlebayre on March 11th, 2009 02:01 pm (UTC)
*Bright: Easy kiddo_ Sam n Bobbystarbright73 on March 11th, 2009 04:02 pm (UTC)
Doom's the word or the era my friend. *looks at another school shooting*

I've slowly come to the understanding that it really is the world and not me that is totally insane. I'm just hovering on the border of total insanity, tentatively dipping my toes into it regularly. *g*

annj_g80: SN roadannj_g80 on March 11th, 2009 04:33 pm (UTC)
Yes, we all are falling for doomnation sooner or later (... which would be a cool title for a song) but you should take care that you can get out of doomnation pool really fast *nods*

And you know what? In my opinion, the only people who really *are* insane are the ones that ACT normal and SAY that they're normal... until they steal daddys sawed off to kill someone because the tension is getting too much.
As long as you claim to be insane, you should be fine. See, it even works with the legal system!? o_O

No, I'm not bitter. Just... verbally challenging. ;-)

Edited at 2009-03-11 04:33 pm (UTC)
deej1957: Me and MSdeej1957 on March 11th, 2009 05:40 pm (UTC)
I decided at age 30 to change careers, and I've never regretted it. I went from building target detectors for the Sidewinder missles to being a travel agent.

The latter has enable me to travel all over the world, which I love. Never been to germany, although I'd like to some day. My ancestry is basically half-german and half-british.
annj_g80: Found Serenityannj_g80 on March 11th, 2009 08:06 pm (UTC)
Wow, that's brave too. I can't help but admire these decisions. I know, it's been pretty hard for me too because my job was safe and sound. (Actually it still IS because I got an amazing three year sabbatical but that's not the point, right)

Oh, and in case you come to Berlin, say the words and I'll be happy to show you around :-D
Tanja: Cute Smile - Samangels_cordy on March 11th, 2009 06:07 pm (UTC)
Hey there!!
AWESOME post *grin*
Know I can stalk you better *lool* Just kidding!!!
annj_g80: omfgannj_g80 on March 11th, 2009 08:09 pm (UTC)
Being stalked is good for the ego. Well, I'm a stalker, too, so I suppose my opinion doesn't count :-D. But it really should, you know? Count I mean. Could anyone please stop my rambling? I'm tired, that's it :-) But thanks anyway, my post is really happy to hear your praise, hehe.

just_sarah_1979: nicejust_sarah_1979 on March 11th, 2009 06:49 pm (UTC)
Wow, this was awesome. Really, everybody should make such kind of an entry. It was so interesting to get to know you better. So thank again for letting me be a part of your filter of doom!!
annj_g80: peacefulannj_g80 on March 11th, 2009 08:15 pm (UTC)
Well, the actual Filter of Doom will contain a little less bla and a little more doom *lol* But this was a nice start, hehe.

I think it's important to know some things about your online friends. Not essentially where they live or their names or numbers or anything but something private and personal to understand them better. :-)
lepitera: schöne Dinge - luftballonslepitera on March 14th, 2009 04:33 pm (UTC)
Hey annj, der Eintrag ist schon etwas her, aber ich wollte nur noch rasch sagen, dass der sehr interessanter war und ich es wirklich mutig finde, dass Du deinen Job aufgegeben und nochmal ein Studium begonnen hast. Das war bestimmt keine leichte Entscheidung!
annj_g80: Found Serenityannj_g80 on March 14th, 2009 05:12 pm (UTC)
Aufgegeben ist der Job ja nicht wirklich. Zumindest nicht offiziell. Hätte die Möglichkeit, nach dem Studium zurück zu gehen zu meinem alten Arbeitgeber. Will das aber eigentlich vermeiden.

Die Entscheidung ist trotzdem nicht leicht gefallen, da ja auch noch andere Uhren ticken ;-)
lepitera: teetimelepitera on March 14th, 2009 05:33 pm (UTC)
Ich finds trotzdem mutig, auch mit dem Job in der Hinterhand. Mir fallen so wichtige Entscheidungen immer sehr schwer, vielleicht deshalb. :)

Und was die anderen Uhren angeht. :D Bei uns haben so einige mitten im Studium ein Baby bekommen, mit dem Gedanken, dass wenn man dann fertig studiert hat, das Kind auch schon aus dem Gröbsten raus ist... Da hängt die Logik zwar an einigen Stellen, aber so ganz dumm ist der Gedanke auch nicht.

Ich bezweifle ja, dass es wirklich einen 'richtigen' Zeitpunkt gibt. Irgendwas ist immer. *seufz*
annj_g80: Found Serenityannj_g80 on March 15th, 2009 01:29 pm (UTC)
Hey, das ist mein Spruch *kicher*

Ich werde auch schon von allen Seiten zugetextet, dass es doch langsam "Zeit für mich wäre" *grummel*.

Meine Mutter hatte sogar die Nerven, schon Babyklamotten zu kaufen *umfall*.

Ab mit der Tür ins Haus :-D